Another new one is similar: She will ignore us and when we finally get her attention (soft and calm, crazy loud, turning off the TV, etc.) she will rush to blurt, "Momma! I love you!" Some days are better than others, but I've heard myself echoing my mother (and hers, too, I'm sure!) when I tell her, "If you loved me, you'd LISTEN to me!" I spice it up now and then and tell her, "If you really wanted to show me you loved me, you'd obey us!" Of course, she's 2 1/2, so how much she hears or cares is beyond me. I think saying these "rational" things when you're anything but sometimes helps crazy mommies deal.
But one day, I didn't hear my mom's voice, I heard my Father's.
Not my daddy's voice, but my Heavenly Father's. And I felt really bad. Worse than my toddler feels; she's just a little girl and anything she does now...well, truthfully, I don't think you can hold her accountable for much. Me...wow. I should know better.
Jesus said: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." (John 14:15)
And there I was, echoing these words, feeling the frustration that comes with the Terrible Twos, thinking, "Why doesn't she just listen to me?" and I'm struck with the awful thought of how badly I must make God feel when I don't listen. When He tells me "Love thy neighbor, don't put anything above Me, honor your parents, don't covet, COME TO ME - ACCEPT ME - LOVE ME!" and I don't pay so much attention. Sort of like Julia watching Toy Story 2 (AGAIN), I get all caught up in this or that and don't listen to what He is telling me I need to do. Can you imagine having to parent this earth? Can you imagine the pain our Father must feel when He sees how we treat each other? I don't remember much bickering with my sisters or brother but I know the sister I was closest in age to and I would occasionally try to get each other in trouble. Not often, but there were times here and there. It had to drive my parents crazy. What must God think when He sees all his children doing that? Especially lately. It seems we have lost all knowledge of how to be kind to one another, to be gracious and compassionate.
Now, just as I know that I don't stop loving Julia when she doesn't listen, I know that my Heavenly Father doesn't stop loving me when I sin. However, just as she says, "I want to be sorry!" I have to ask for His forgiveness. And just as I tell her, "Ok, but don't do it again!" I have to not repeat my sin. Hard to do. But I need to keep trying...and I need to exercise the grace and patience with my daughter that I know He uses with me. I want some day to look up at Him and say, "Father, are you happy with me?" and know that He is.
